The General Specific

"Africa has a reputation: poverty, disease, war. But when outsiders go there they are often surprised by Africa’s welcome, entranced rather than frightened. Visitors are welcomed and cared for in Africa. If you go you will find most Africans friendly, gentle and infinitely polite. You will be frequently humbled by African generosity. Africans have in abundance what we call social skills. These are not skills that are formally taught or learned. There is no click-on have-a-nice-day smile in Africa. Africans meet, greet and talk, look you in the eye and emapthize, hold hands and embrace, share and accept from others without twitchy self-consciousness. All these things are as natural as music in Africa."

- Richard Dowden

Oct 27

"Weapons. As in, what weapons do I have with me right now and how will I use them, if I have to? The tip of this umbrella is sharp and could probably draw blood if applied correctly and the rest of the umbrella isn’t so bad itself; when it’s all closed and buttoned-up it’s just like a real weapon. I’m gripping it with both hands and holding it in front of my body, waist-high, horizontal, so that if someone were to come at me from the front I could raise it, push it up against their Adam’s apple and take their breath away. If someone were to come at me from behind, I could plunge into their groin or pierce into their foot, that sharp, pointed tip. This is not the way you typically see someone carrying a tall umbrella, they like to balance on it like it’s a walking stick. I carry it like a sword, like a weapon and on nights when there’s been no rain, I keep my longest, sharpest housekey cushioned between the index and middle finger, just in case I need to gauge someone’s eyes out. Just in case. Sometimes I think about the time a karate sensei came to teach my fourth grade class self-defense for one week, he mentioned that if you use the heel of your hand to push someone’s nose up and then back, into their skull, they could die — or maybe I saw that in a movie, or maybe my brother told me, but either way I’ve always known if I were put in the position to defend my life on a dark night when I’m walking home alone and I’m a woman, I’d like to try it out. My weapons aren’t all metal and shine, though, and plus I know these kinds of weapons can be used against me. Words also seem like weapons that could be used against me, so I keep those for the page and not for inviting anyone to take notice of me when it’s dark outside and I’m walking home alone and I’m a woman. Other weapons: my shoulders, they’re squared and defensive and my elbows are pointed just-so, sharp as they get, they’re not as long as the umbrella but sometimes they’re all I’ve got. My face is a weapon, says things like don’t look at me and I don’t trust you and you will regret even thinking about it. This is why you won’t get that smile you asked for sir, it’s not just because I’m scared but because I want you to feel scared, too. I want you to know that, while you may be my alternate universe father boyfriend brother, right here and right now you’re a stranger dressed in shadows, a suspect. Maybe in different circumstances, your presence would comfort me, make me feel safe. But there are no maybes I’m willing to indulge in, not tonight or any other night. I have no reason to let my guard down, not when it’s very dark out and I’m walking home alone and I’m a woman."

- Stephanie Georgopulos, “What I Think About When It’s Very Dark Out, and I’m Walking Home Alone, and I’m a Woman” (via fleurishes)

(via omgstephlol)

Jul 19

I’m generally a pretty even-tempered person. My highs aren’t extreme and my lows manifest themselves as mild annoyance at the world, as opposed to any sort of gut-wrenching soul-pain. This isn’t really an attribute I like or dislike - I just don’t really have the emotional capacity to feel big feelings, and I think I’m ok with it.

I don’t often enter into conflict with people (it’s time-consuming and it sets me on edge), but when I’m cornered into conflict I’ve realized I get nasty very, very quickly. I don’t yell and I’m not really a crier, so without being conscious of it I aim to cut quickly and deeply so I can walk away feeling like the encounter is complete. I identify the comment, truth, or observation that will cause the most pain, deliver it evenly and without apology. 

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what turns me off the idea of romantic relationships. I claim to hate the intrusion into my life, the obligation and the drama - all things that are more or less true. But it goes a lot deeper than that, which is something I’m finally facing up to. I don’t like not being in control of my feelings. I don’t like being sad, I don’t like being unsure and I don’t like the idea of my pain becoming a game for someone else. Whatever fulfillment I may find just doesn’t seem worth it. 

Someone once suggested that I feel things so deeply that I don’t even know I’m feeling them. It’s an interesting theory, but I’m not sure if it was just an attempt to make me feel more normal. I’m not sure what any of this means, but I’m ok with it for now. 

Feb 2
On: Emotions
This is the sort of thinking that keeps “artists” trapped in their bullshit and their blogs and their instagrammed photos of their spectacularly uninteresting lattes. This is the real world. Everyone is creative. Everyone has interesting thoughts. People should do meaningful/useful things for society instead of waxing lyrical about how complicated their brains are.
Sep 20

This is the sort of thinking that keeps “artists” trapped in their bullshit and their blogs and their instagrammed photos of their spectacularly uninteresting lattes. This is the real world. Everyone is creative. Everyone has interesting thoughts. People should do meaningful/useful things for society instead of waxing lyrical about how complicated their brains are.

tiltherewasyou:

seriously underrated film.
Sep 20

tiltherewasyou:

seriously underrated film.

(Source: chloboatsailing)

terrysdiary:

My Mom’s legs.
Sep 13

terrysdiary:

My Mom’s legs.

terrysdiary:

Please tell us if you hurt.
Sep 13

terrysdiary:

Please tell us if you hurt.

terrysdiary:

The last picture I took of my Mom.
Sep 13

terrysdiary:

The last picture I took of my Mom.

Sep 13

(Source: crookedbottomteeth)

Aug 1

(Source: odontoceti-cetacea)